Why Do Couples Fight on Vacation?

If you’ve found yourself getting into more frequent spats with your partner while on a trip, rest assured you’re not alone. Traveling is like a pressure cooker for relationship dynamics. Personality differences become more apparent, financial preferences get put to the test, and biological habits are pushed outside of their comfort zone. This stress can understandably have an impact on how you interact with and perceive your partner while on (what should be) a relaxing vacation.

Even if this is an overly familiar feeling at this point in your relationship, know that there are ways to minimize these conflicts before you leave for the trip.

For one, try to anticipate challenges related to your personality differences. The aspects of a couple’s personality styles and habits that cause tension at home are even more likely to cause tension while traveling. For example, if one partner is more punctual and the other is more relaxed on timing this can be a recipe for a fight as early into the trip as leaving for the airport. While the couple may never agree on certain logistical approaches, like what’s the best time to leave for the airport, openly communicating about the plan in advance and finding a compromise can help reduce the chance of a full-blown fight during the most anxiety-inducing moments.

Don’t plan “your trip” when it’s “our trip.” This happens often – one partner is more of the planner and the other takes the back seat. While this might work well in the planning process, the risk is that one person ends up feeling like they are on someone else’s vacation and aren’t being considered by their partner. On the other side of the coin, the planner might feel unappreciated for all of the work that they put into creating this trip on both of their behalf.

As much as possible, plan the trip together. Both should feel involved, considered, and have the opportunity to weigh in on the schedule. Work together to accommodate both of your needs by considering basic preferences with regards to things like eating habits, physical abilities, and desired ratio of sightseeing to lounging. Try to anticipate these needs and plan for it throughout the trip so that it can feel fun for both partners, rather than fun for one and draining on the other.

Finally, don’t forget to share appreciation and excitement with each other. Whether it’s your dream trip or a quick weekend getaway, there is a lot of effort that goes into making a vacation happen. Expressing appreciation and gratitude is a great way to stay reminded of the intention of the vacation: to show up for each other, have fun, and spend time together. 

 Bon voyage!  

Katie is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate and Licensed Professional Counselor Associate and comes from a career in the corporate sector. With an understanding of the joys and challenges of corporate life and expertise in fostering healthy relationships, Katie is ready to help you reconnect and thrive.

Katie is supervised by Rachel Falbo, PhD, LMFT-S, LPC-S & Liz Higgins, LMFT-S

Why Is Being Still So Difficult?

When you think of being “still”, what comes to mind?

Do the terms “lazy” or “unproductive” come to mind at all? Frankly, they do for many people, and I’m here to say that stillness is necessary for our mental well-being and overall health. Being still truly means without movement or sound and, as humans, we can use movement and sound to drown out a lot.

We all live busy lives and could be doing something at every given moment of every single day. There’s just not enough time some days and it can feel like a never-ending race to check things off the to-do list. On the other hand, being still means we take a second to breathe and feel the emotions we’ve been pushing aside or drowning out. I’ll let you in on a little secret, we all do this. It’s so common for people to stay busy to not address what’s really happening for us internally.

Moments of stillness can be scary for many of us.

Let’s work on making it less scary and notice the benefits it can have on our minds and bodies. I invite you to take 30 seconds today to sit in stillness. Maybe the absolute noiseless environment is too overwhelming and that’s ok. Sometimes our bodies need time to adjust to being still when it’s not used to it, so let’s take it a step at a time.

Instead, try sitting somewhere that feels restful and take in your environment around you. What are the components that make that spot restful? Is it a nearby plant that is flourishing, or the hum of the fan beside you, or the smell of a candle burning on the table? Take it all in with deep breaths and notice what happens for you.

You deserve to take a breath in this chaotic world we live in and you can give yourself that gift every day.

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Meet The Author: Kayla Sammons, LMFT-A here at Millennial Life Counseling!

Kayla is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate specializing in individual work, couples therapy, and premarital counseling. Kayla’s empathetic approach makes her a trusted guide for those seeking meaningful change and deeper connections.

Whether you’re an individual looking to feel empowered in understanding your emotions, a couple hoping to enhance your connection, or partners ready to say ‘I do’, Kayla is here and ready to work with you!