Episode 8 with Rebecca Wong, LCSW-R
A New Way of Viewing Modern Relationships: Relational Life Therapy
In today’s episode, Liz talks modern relationships, new ways to approach and view them, and all about Relational Life Therapy with guest Rebecca Wong, LCSW-R and founder of Connectfulness and the Connectfulness Practice Podcast. Whether you’re in a relationship or hoping to be in one, this episode is for you. We hope you gain a fresh, new insight into relationships in today’s world, and how we can best view, nurture, and grow them in modern times.
“Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path until one person, in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to his ancestors, and spares the children that follow.” - Terry Real, founder of Relational Life Therapy
EPISODE NOTES:
If we don’t figure out how to do the work to repair trust, we can’t learn to trust. Trust is something that is built up.
Unlike many other forms of relationship therapy, RLT deals with the power dynamic within a relationship.
We stop trying to prove ourselves if we truly believe the fact that we all have inherent worth, we just do. We as a generation are misguided and have been focusing on what’s coming from the outside in, rather than what’s inside and being put out into the world. When we are misguided, we don’t protect ourselves.
In order to have a truly successful relationship, we have to do deep inner work in ourselves. If we don’t do the work, then we pass it down. Passing it down doesn’t only mean to our children - it means we bring it into all relationships we encounter in our lives.
You can’t have true, real intimacy in a relationship where one person has power over another. But what is intimacy? Intimacy starts with knowing yourself, loving yourself, protecting yourself, and being able to share yourself with another.
In order to wake up to who we are and why we are that way, we need to take a look at what happened, see it, recognize it, acknowledge it, and look into how it is effecting us in our relationships. This “waking up” is a realization of self.
Judgement is a form of contempt. The act of “waking up” is not something to judge. The opposite of judgement is curiosity, and that is what we are asking for as humans.
RESOURCES:
Find out more about Rebecca, her podcast, and the upcoming virtual relationship bootcamp she’s co-facilitating on her website
This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.
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