Episode 35: Perfectly Hidden Depression, A Conversation with Dr. Margaret Rutherford
Have you ever seen someone whose life appeared seemingly perfect from the outside, only to learn that they were actually suicidal or living with chronic depression? Liz talks with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, psychotherapist and the host of The SelfWork Podcast. Dr. Margaret takes us into the world of Perfectly Hidden Depression, and discusses her book that she wrote on this topic. Many of us have a general idea of what we think depression looks like, but Dr. Margaret brings a new lens to the fact that often, depressed individuals still function out of a perfectionistic and overfunctioning place. NOTE: This episode includes sensitive and triggering conversations around suicide and self-harm behaviors.
EPISODE NOTES:
The call that so many millennials feel to leave a legacy and to leave the world a better place can be extremely overwhelming.
So many of us try to seem like we’re gliding along and keeping everything together effortlessly, when in reality, it can be so hard just to keep afloat.
The rates of perfectionism and suicide are correlated and they are going up.
We all need to recognize how dangerous the pressure a lot of people are living under day to day is.
Perfectionism is really fueled by inner shame or inner criticism. Constructive perfectionism, on the other hand, is fueled be curiosity or genuine interest.
You can identify with perfectly hidden depression and have a true other diagnostic disorder.
Those with high functioning depression are aware they are depressed, and they may have even been diagnosed with classic depression.
You have to be conscious of when your perfectionism is a problem.
You must commit to changing your perfectionism when it is not constructive or healthy.
You have to confront the rules in your life and decide if they are working for you or working against you.
You need to practice connection and learn to express emotion. Connecting with your emotions is a way of getting what you’re facing out in front of you.
You need to focus on change. Change is where hope comes from.
You can feel gratitude and grief all at the same time.
Resources:
Check out Dr. Margaret on her website.
Listen to Dr. Margaret’s podcast, The SelfWork Podcast.
This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.
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