Episode 36: Healing Beyond Relational Betrayal, Conversation with Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT
Liz is joined by Geoff Steurer, LMFT and the host of From Crisis to Connection, a podcast focused on helping couples and individuals move past relational betrayal in a healthy way. We discuss the experience of being faced by betrayal, what the healing process is like for both partners in the experience, and how pain and change can be a platform to growth, healing, and even a deeper intimacy.
EPISODE NOTES:
Healthy relationships are based on constant repair.
We live in a world where we have expectations in our relationships and we expect others to uphold them.
Betrayal is easier to navigate when you’re with a partner who sees mistakes as an opportunity to learn.
In order to live in a relationship and have the benefits of commitment, we have to let our guard down.
When there’s a realization, confession, or recognition of betrayal in a relationship, the partner will first feel shock, trauma. Everything they knew, believed, and lived, feels like a lie.
There’s several different ways that people respond to betrayal. Whatever the response, the fact is that there’s reactivity going on, and stabilization must happen. There has to be a plan for how to rebuild and reconnect.
In a lot of ways, the betrayer in a relationship can easily move forward, rewrite their story, and carry on. The betrayed, however, has a story that has completely changed. They are the ones experiencing physiological symptoms that are distressing.
We all have the capacity to change. People. Can. Change.
The first step in moving forward after betrayal is crisis management and maintaining safety and security for the betrayed partner.
Couples can only build on a foundation of truth.
Within a couple of years, you can have a restoration of trust.
Trust is not all or nothing.
Personal growth is two-sided.
We don’t grow without mistakes.
RESOURCES:
Check out Geoff’s website.
Listen to Geoff’s podcast.
Snag Geoff’s free guide to end your marriage arguments.
Learn more about Geoff’s 12 Week Trust Building Bootcamp.
Want access to Geoff's Trust Building Bootcamp online course? Just click this link and use the code GET10 to receive 10% off.
This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.
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