Episode 39: Breaking Down Criticism and Blame, with Liz Higgins
Liz is coming to you solo today to discuss two incredibly common, and unfortunately detrimental, relationship dynamics that pop up throughout conflict cycles: Criticism and Blame. Liz defines these dynamics, explaining how they show up, what protective purpose they hold, and what we can do differently if we want to shift out of these negative dances with our partner, family, friends (legit, anyone!) and into a healthier way of relating. Enjoy!
EPISODE NOTES:
You can learn, grow, and develop relationally no matter what your relationship status is.
Criticism is not constructive guidance. Criticism intends to hurt.
When we criticize others, we are pushing them away.
Criticism always focuses on a person as at fault, not on the behavior.
Criticism is a fast road to emotional shutdown and disconnection.
A request (rather than an attack) shifts the focus from the person back to the behavior and allows one partner to express their needs in the relationship to the other.
Blame is a defense mechanism.
Brene Brown says blame is the discharge of pain and discomfort.
It is our responsibility (and our responsibility alone) to explore what is going on within us when we place blame on someone or something.
This podcast is not a substitute for therapy with a licensed provider.
After you listen, be sure to share your thoughts with us or follow us on Instagram @millenniallifecounseling and please support our show by sharing with a friend or writing us a review on Apple podcast! Your support is gratefully appreciated.